Who's who
by marketeerbubbles
Summary: Lucifer and the gang are talking about the new series of Doctor Who. This is set after S3E24 for Lucifer and after Doctor Who's 'Spiders in the UK' has just been released. Please note I am an Australian and have no idea of actual release dates in the USA.


Linda, Ella, Maze and Chloe were sitting in one of the round booths in the VIP area at LUX enjoying a rare tribal girls night and celebrating Maze's latest bounty. Well, Maze was celebrating her latest bounty, France was grateful she had left the country in one piece and it is fairly possible the remaining three members of the tribe had no idea about any of this.

The music was loud, the lights were aligned to set the mood just right and all around them people danced, talked and enjoyed themselves with sins of all sorts, mostly legal. Lucifer could be seen moving around the room playing the perfect host as always and Dan was at the bar talking to one of the new IT interns he had buddied up with recently, a man named Dylan.

"You haven't seen the new episodes yet have you?" Ella was saying to Linda. "I mean, I love the acting and Jodie is totally rocking the look and all, and she's obviously made for the part, but the writing, it just so… Agh, and the political hits suck, you know what I mean?"

"Oh totally," a slightly tipsy Doctor Linda was nodding her head and regretting it instantly, "We are only three, no four! Four episodes in and I'm fairy, no fairly positive the new writers really dislike America, what did we ever do to them anyways?"

"Besides the whole tea incident anyway?" Linda added as a quick afterthought.

"Um, yeah, no more shots for you Doc," Ella said, taking the shot glass from Linda.

"What are you guys talking about?" Maze asked only half listening while surreptitiously scanning the room for either a night of conquest or a new hunt; her companions didn't try to guess. Lucifer had previously requested that she refrain from luring her bounties to the club, being the high class establishment it is, but hey, what was a girl to do with small minded, easily tricked scumbag humans?

"Doctor Who, that show I tried to get you to watch with me a few weeks back, Trixie and I love it," Chloe answered the demon. "I still think you'd love it, we got Lucifer hooked."

"No way! Lucifer watches Doctor Who! Oh man! We gotta bring him in for his opinion!," A usually hyper, now over hyped Ella was bouncing.

"What happened to this being tribe night?" asked Chloe with a raised brow.

"To be fair Decker, it's his club, and both he and Dan are here, and while we may not have spoken to them, the drinks have all been free and you know if asked, he'd do anything for you, let's face it. Tribal night at your boyfriends club, doesn't really work."

"He's not my boyfriend, Maze," Chloe ground out.

"You want him to be."

"REALLY don't."

"Verbal tennis matches between you too are fun and all, but I'm here to get drunk, possibly laid and have fun with my gals, so stop mellowing my buzz girls," Linda slurred out, then put her head on the table, raising it only to state to Maze, "Also, Maze, you really need to catch up on Doctor Who." 

"Yes, yes, I saw the Rosa Parks' one if that makes you feel any better, well most of it, it was great, I haven't seen this week's yet. Personally, I like it, humans killing and hating on each other just because, reminds me a bit of home."

"Seriously Maze?"

"Yeah, Trixie wanted to watch it, so we had a small marathon the other day."

"That's not what I meant Maze."

"Acting is brilliant, but the stories and characters are just… there's no… what do you lot call it… personal development; beside, since when is the Doctor all emotional and touchy feely? Best part was that he was a kick ass and dark, kinda reminded me of Lucifer," Linda suddenly added out of nowhere.

"Did I hear my name, Linda darling?"

"No, go away," the demon hissed.

Hands raised in surrender and his trade mark smirk in place, he bowed in false modesty and backing away before turning and walking a few paces, calling over his shoulder, "Call if you need anything, dears."

"Those new writers are making The Doctor a sook. A wuss. A loser… our Lucifer is none of those," Chloe stated.

"Also, the pokes at political correctness are getting annoying," Linda piped up before going back to sleep on the table.

Chloe smiled fondly at Linda before continuing, "I watch to escape and spend time with Trixie. If I wanted corruption, knives, guns, racism and the like, I'd focus more at work!"

"Ha! You are the most work-focused person I know! Next to me anyway," Ella giggled.

"She's got you pegged, Decker," Maze interrupted, before taking a swig of her drink.

Ella continued, "I agree with you though, she's totally becoming sook. I mean; I have major concerns that when they were on the desert planet, The Doctor just gave up after they arrived at the mountaintop and the TARDIS hadn't appeared yet. Like, What?! What?! You're just going to give up? Tell your friends they won't survive another night there? What the Heck girl!"

"Exactly! Also, the Doctor saves people. Why do they keep dying?! The Doctor keeps finding dead people or arriving too late," Chloe added.

"Yes, Precisely, Jodie is doing well, but the writers are failing dismally," Ella all but yelled.

"You said that already, Ellie," Maze said taking another drink

"Ella, also, what was with the disclaimer speech about travelling with her? Since when does The Doctor do that? The Doctor is supposed to want companionship, not try scare them off."

"Thank you, I was beginning to think I was the only one who felt that way." Dan joined in. "I have to admit, girls' night is not quite what I expected, I figured it would be more talk about guys and clothes, not geek shows."

"I still think it's great," Maze said, hungrily eyeing Dylan who was standing behind Dan.

"Also, can it and beat Douche," Maze literally growled.

"Going," He backed off.

"I look at it this way: I can picture every Doctor of the new generation standing in Matt Smith's shoes during the Pandorica Arc, throwing their arms out to challenge of the sky full of his enemies and yelling out, 'Remember every dark day I've ever given you! Then do the smart thing, and let someone else try first!' or something along those lines, I can't see Jodie's Doctor doing that, the way they've written her Doctor, I just can't see it," Dylan added thoughtfully before turning to join Dan.

"Exactly! The way she is, a Dalek would roll right over her," Ella cried.

"Again, I disagree, I suspect she is hiding her true potential and just wants people to like her," Maze said quietly, quickly, before slinking out of the booth and going after Dylan.

"Last night's episode was certainly the best so far, but The Doctor actually asked permission to do things, since when does The Doctor need permission?" Ella sighed.

"Yup, like I said, no guts, plenty of brains, but they've left no room for the darker side of the character," Chloe nodded, starting on her third drink.

Maze returned, Dylan's number now in her phone and a meet up scheduled for later that evening.

"Maybe you are just judging too early, but it feels like every other Doctor had this 'I'm the good guy, but don't fuck with me or your ancestors will regret it throughout all of time'. They all showed some deeper resilience," Maze added, starting on a new drink she swiped from a passing waiter.

"These new writers are burying all that and making her some kind of hyper-emotional, politically correct, easily defeated, dare I say it, boring character. I'm rather upset by the whole thing." Lucifer came and sat by Chloe. "Really disappointing considering everything, right Detective?" he purred.

"Do I even want to know?" Chloe asked.

"Waris Hussein asked for a favour, only reason we even have our beloved Doctor Who."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Right, Lucifer, I love that you're so into the who method acting but you would have been what, five years old?" Ella asked laughing.

Chloe and Lucifer just looked at each other and smiled secretly.

"Of course, my dear Ella."

"I was ready to give a female Doctor a go and Jodie is doing the best she can, and she's a great actress, however, I kind of feel they made her weaker because she's female, that said, look at Missy, or rather the Master who was so skilfully written and portrayed that her character actually became eviler then before in some ways. Perhaps they are just waiting for the right moment to bring out the 'ancient being', the dangerous side of the Doctor?" Dan added from behind Lucifer, "Sorry Ladies, but if you are discussing The Doctor, and Lucifer is allowed to join, then so are Dylan and I, come on," he pulled Dylan round and they join the group.

The three awake women looked at each other and shrugged.

"Fine with me," Maze pulled Dylan down beside her.

"I really hope you're right about a build up to her inner strength. I've had fears from episode one but shelved them because I didn't like Peter Capaldi either at first, but he grew on me quickly, he was a different Doctor and took getting used to, as they all are I guess. I hoped Jodie would mature as the Doctor and grow into the role but progress is lacking and it is concerning to see and note that lack of development so far," Lucifer spoke up while waving over a waitress.

"Also, Maze, please stop stealing other peoples drink orders, I've been getting complaints, one scotch straight up," he told the waitress

"I'm being turned off by the political correctness of it all, I gave up on the Rosa Parks episode. I get it, times were horrible and racists are evil. I understand and fully agree. I do not need a recap of that in the middle of my show about space faring, time-traveling aliens with sassy one-liners and cool gadgets. Cheers," Ella took a drink and from habit, at cheers so did the rest of the now larger group.

"Still think you're all wrong, but no-one ever listens to me," Maze muttered.

"I do!" Linda half slurred half yelled from the back of the booth.

Maze just fondly smiled at her.

"I'm sticking to it because I grew up with it and I have to believe it will come good. Also, her outfit is so cool, I am totally in LOVE the ear cuff!" Chloe, now getting really tipsy, added. "Also, my daughter loves it." Chloe added as an after thought.

"Always a good reason to do anything," Lucifer added with a roll of his eyes.

"I also love that European accent."

"Yorkshire, darling."

"Whatever, love yours, too."

"Welsh."

"Enough flirting already! just go fuck already," Maze snapped, crossing her arms.

"I'm actually on her side, I can feel the tension from here," Dylan added. "Also, I like the new Doctor, I haven't had any issues except for the spiders, and that's only because I don't actually like spiders."

"Agreed," Maze added once again eying Dylan hungrily. "So, to clear this up, we all love the actress, but the show's writing has gone down hill, but we still hold out hope? Except Dylan and I who have no problem with the show except the possibility of too many spiders? Great, come on Dylan," she said, taking his hand and pulling him out of the booth. "Lucifer, I'll be in my old suite."

"Have fun, darling" Lucifer smiled as she dragged a stunned looking IT technician away. "A demon with hope, who'd have thought it, hmm ladies? Shall we continue this party upstairs?"

"Actually, the babysitter is expecting me back soon, sorry Lucifer," Chloe smirked. "And I think I'd better drop Linda off, we'll share a cab, night guys, Ella, you want a ride?"

"Yeah, sounds good, night Dan, Lucifer."

"Looks like we've been ditched Dan."

"Guess so, I might take off too, night Lucifer."

"Hmm, a Devil with idle hands, nothing to do but to play a set, I guess."

5 minutes later the theme of Doctor Who was ringing through LUX, played masterfully by its very on Devil in residence at the piano. The night was still reasonably young, so who knows where it would take him.


End file.
